The Best Things on Ebay are Free?

eBay is a great marketplace to get a good deal from a fellow internet user or virtual store. The question of should you be buying a 100 packs of hot dog buns from someone in South Korea is thankfully not often asked; something which eBay thrives upon. While most items such as hot dog buns and toast with religious imagery are legitimate useful items, eBay is also home to a host of weird things.

For example if you’re looking for The Meaning of Life, don’t worry, because it’s on eBay and it must be said is quite the bargain at the very reasonable price of only $11. Need to replenish your stocks of that survival staple; invisibility cream, well look no further than eBay. You should be aware though, that invisibility cream is the cheapest option to turn invisible, mainly because just like sunscreen it can be a pain to apply, and also because it’s easy to miss a spot. So make sure you get an invisibility ray instead, of which there are numerous to choose from.

And for all those weird and wonderful reasons, the best things on eBay are free, so long as you don’t get suckered into buying them. Not wanting to be left out we created our own eBay offering, a very special pair of denim cutoffs. Sadly they did sell and went into a private collection where unfortunately the public will not be able to see it. So all we can now offer as it’s legacy is our original eBay Ad, check it out below.

Our eBay Ad

I’m offering the 100% legitimately soiled denim cutoffs as worn by legendary Van Cleaner, Ronny Radsticks.

Item specifics
These cut offs started as a pair of jeans that did over 3000 boogies on the dance floor and generated more than 300 comments of “wow, your ass looks amazing in those jeans” and “I thought I was straight – but now I have questions”.

These denim cutoffs will increase anyone’s sex appeal to epic levels and drive every man or woman who sees you in them to lust after you, so much so that they are not suitable to wear to funerals or children’s birthdays parties.

As for condition, the left leg is was purposefully cut higher to accentuate a slightly sexier left thigh, so this will suit another person with a slightly sexier left thigh who’s interested in showing it off to its full advantage.

There is also noticeable wear on the buttocks of the pants due to excessive booty popping as well as a small burn hole on the right back side, this is from being so hot that the cutoffs spontaneously combusted for 3 secs.

They are perfect for sitting on a large range of surfaces, including, glass, plastic, concrete, and wood. So if you have a lot of wood to sit on these would be perfect for you.

Other known attributes besides epic sexiness are that the smell of these cutoffs has known medicinal properties. Blindness, polio and rheumatoid arthritis being amongst them.

This items comes with an authentic certificate of authenticity and can be supplied in a wall mount for an additional $187, which comes in breakaway glass so in an emergency you can have quick access.